The Holidays: Is Avoiding Family Conflict Really Possible?

Segment 1: Perceptions of Reality.

Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Roger Frame, President of Frameworks 4 Learning. Roger is an expert on resolving interpersonal conflict, defusing power struggles and preventing bullying. His book is called Don’t Carve the Turkey with a Chainsaw: Resolving Family Conflict. He comes from the psychotherapy perspective and thinks the single biggest cause of human conflict is differences of perspective. People view conflict as based on reality, when in fact it’s based on our perceptions of reality. Conflict is not something you can completely avoid (nor should we try to avoid it, as it usually brings people closer together once it is resolved). If we don’t have resistance, we cannot grow as human beings. The whole point of conflict is to alert us to the fact that there are things to which we need to pay attention.

 

Segment 2: Adopt a Curious Attitude.

In terms of holiday conflict, when relatives get together there are often repeated patterns that come up every year. It’s difficult for people to recognize these patterns, and the person who brings up the issue usually (unconsciously) has a vested interest in keeping it alive. So why would a reasonable, rational intelligent person do this? Adults play out the conflicts of their childhood and the dynamic stays the same. When you encounter an issue with a family member, ask the question, “I’m curious. What makes you want to keep bringing this up?” Having the presence of mind to ask a question like this takes practice and self-control. The most difficult thing is to stay present with yourself so that when someone pushes your buttons you can respond with compassion and clarity, even when you are angry. Instead of attacking back and reacting with anger, adopt a curious attitude.

 

Segment 3: Ignore the Words and Focus on the Emotion.

Listening is a powerful skill that needs to be taught. People don’t know how to listen or ask effective questions. Roger thinks we should ignore the words and focus on emotions. Repeat back the emotional experience of the person you’re speaking with at that moment. In doing that, you touch something deep and the brain starts to calm. In the brain, the emotional content goes to one neuropathway and the cognitive content goes to another neuropathway. When you recognize the emotion in a situation – and mirror it back – the emotional centers of the brain deescalate.

 

Segment 4: In Roger’s book he references many fly fishing analogies for conflict resolution. For example, kids bait their parents and know exactly what lure their parents will bite. As water warms up in a river, fish bite on different insects. Also, there are certain times of day when mom (or dad) is tired and kids know they can ask for and get what they want. Timing is everything. If you draw your fly rod back and start the forward movement too quickly, the fly will snap off. It’s the same with communication: if you interrupt someone too quickly, the conversation will snap off. Lastly, when casting in fly fishing, you must move backward before you go forward. When you are involved in conflict resolution, if you can pause and go backward a bit, it opens up the space to move forward. It creates a safe space for someone to be heard.

 

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Release the Need to be Right. Choose Closeness Instead.

Segment 1: How to Quiet the Negative Voices.

On this edition of The Doug Noll Show we speak with Tom Gagliano. Tom is a successful entrepreneur, life coach, author and public speaker. His website is http://www.thomasgagliano.com/ and his latest book is called The Problem Was Me. Tom grew up in a very volatile, unsafe environment due to an abusive alcoholic father, and although he has been very successful in business he found that he unknowingly continued to sabotage his personal relationships.

 

Segment 2: Emotional Trauma is the Norm.

Very few people actually achieve true happiness. Why not? Tom thinks that when you feel whole inside, when you feel like you are “enough,” there is no void you need to fill with other people’s accolades. It’s all about inner fulfillment. Emotional trauma in childhood is the norm, not the exception. The most important thing a family can do for their children is to create a safe environment. If a child feels safe at home, he will grow up feeling safe in the world. If a child grows up with explosions - physical or emotional – in the home, and if the version of intimacy they receive is one that is fearful or painful, they will carry that version of intimacy into their adult life and sabotage their relationships.

 

As parents we naturally want to guide our children. However, occasionally we need to relinquish the need to be right, and instead choose closeness. Our children really listen to us when we really listen to them. Our kids just want to be heard.

 

There are subtle signs of self-destructive or addictive behavior: when people have abnormal anger, i.e. when the degree of anger doesn’t fit the situation, they need to address the deeper issues. It’s difficult for people to talk about their feelings; they either shut down or they react with anger. To be empathic you need to observe and understand other people’s feelings, but in order to do that you need to first understand your OWN feelings.

 

Segment 3: Bullying and What to Do About It.

If you are married to someone with deep emotional trauma, there are a few things to do to help. When someone is damaged they are very sensitive. Be compassionate. Say things with love. Use healthy boundaries and don’t accept unacceptable behavior. Be gentle. Let them talk. Listen. Eventually you will get under their fears and under their pain and trust will build.

 

Tom believes that the ubiquitous computer has made a difference in our kids. They have a destructive “entitlement” view of the world. Additionally, working mothers and fathers may feel guilty so they over-indulge their kids. If the child is not getting (emotionally) what they need from their parents, the child ends up making some victim “pay” for it. Bullies are made, not born. So what can a parent do if they are told their kid is a bully? Talk to the principal and the teacher. There needs to be a coalition. Talk to the child. The kid doesn’t feel safe enough at home to talk about what’s going on at school. If they’re not getting their emotional needs met at home, they’re either going to act OUT in anger as a bully or they’re going to act IN their anger and be a target and a victim for bullies. It’s one or the other.

 

Segment 4: Choose Closeness Instead.

If you have a kid who is a bully, Tom recommends this approach: listen, share, and reveal yourself. Become vulnerable. Give up the right to be right and choose closeness instead. Let compassion guide what you say and do. Slow down and become more non-reactive. If you have a kid who is the target of bullies, Tom recommends this approach: talk to people you can trust and focus on what’s best for your child instead of reacting with anger. Listen to your child. Protect her. Show her that she is valuable and worth protecting. This takes a lot of presence, self-awareness and patience.

 

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Finding Peace in a Multi-Faith World

Segment 1 – Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Brian McLaren: author, speaker, activist and public theologian. His latest book is titled Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha, and Mohammed Cross the Road? (Christian Identity in a Multi-Faith World). Brian’s website is http://www.brianmclaren.net/.

 

Brian started his career as college English professor and ended up being part of a small congregation, of which he later became the pastor. He recently left pastoral hood in order to devote more time to writing and speaking. Brian grew up as a conservative evangelical, where evolution was not something you believed and the bible was interpreted literally.

 

A lot of folks frame the world today in broad sweeping terms, as in “it’s a Muslim world against the Christian world.” Why is it that people are so quick to deduce the difficult conflicts in our world down to religious identity? According to our guest, one of the ways we feel safe is by finding a tribe or community where we think we belong. We often define “us” by having opposition toward “them.” We tell stories about how “they” oppressed us, which gives us the feeling of bonding with our tribe.

 

Segment 2 – Let’s say Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed met up in a bar…what do you think they would talk about? Brian believes they would talk about the religions that have been formed in the world today, and they might talk with great sadness and pain about the things that are being done in their name. The lesson to “love one another” and “love your enemies” is the toughest teaching to follow. It is difficult to accept the feeling of love instead of the biological feeling of hatred for an enemy who is threatening. Security trumps peace. We have forms of religions that in some ways are trying to protect the status quo for the social and political elite, and then we have other forms of religions that are trying to transform the status quo. The latter’s focus is on the people at the bottom of the pyramid. Essentially we have religions of control and religions of transformation. Interestingly, each one sees themselves as the maintainer of peace.

 

Segment 3 – We consistently do two things already: 1) We either know how to have a strong religious identity and be hostile to people with other religious identities, or 2) We have the opposite approach, which is to have a weak or benign identity (we think the only way to become less hostile is to become less Christian). Brian thinks we need a better alternative to these two approaches. He believes the more committed to Christianity we are, the more dedicated we need to be to peacemaking and to learning the skills of interacting with people of different religious beliefs. Unfortunately, when a person who is a member of “us” advocates that we show compassion and understanding and tries to humanize “them,” that person is often seen as a traitor. In many ways it’s the story of Jesus.

 

Segment 4 – So how can we rethink the concept of Eucharist and instead of having it be a sacrificial, violent exercise, have it be a peace-loving, engaged spiritual practice? Brian tells us that Jesus envisioned a form of religion where (animal) sacrifice was not part of the ritual. To find out more, listen to the complete interview:

 

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The Controversial Role of Religion within Peacemaking

Segment 1: The Theology of Fear.

Surprisingly, peacemaking as a concept is not mentioned in the Bible other than in the Beatitudes. On this edition of The Doug Noll Show we’re going to be exploring the role of religion within peacemaking and how the church has changed its view throughout the years. Our guest is Father Emmett Coyne and we’re going to be talking to him about his view of the church and the implications of world peace through faith. Father Coyne is the author of a new book, The Theology of Fear, in which he argues that the Roman Catholic Church has systemically distorted the teachings of Jesus Christ to maintain control, position, power and privilege. He believes the church latched onto using the sacraments as means of controlling its members.

 

Segment 2: Love is an Act of Will.

Father Coyne says that the Catholic Church has moved away from the focus on the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is defined as a vision of how life should be here on life. It’s about THIS WORLD, not our future lives. This definition is spelled out in the Sermon on the Mount. Instead of power, it’s seeking the way of service. Instead of control, it’s liberating others. These are marks of the Kingdom of God. 

 

Father Coyne emphasizes that fear is a feeling, an emotion, but love is not. Love is about doing good, not being good. Love is an act of will. Love is a conscious process. It’s a choice.

 

Segment 3: Keep the Power but Resist Service.

The Church as an institution benefits from protecting the doctrine of fear and control. It reflects more of Caesar than of Christ. The fact that there are no women in the governance of the church is a critical issue. This is a sign of how out-of-step they are with their own theology. It’s a narrow view and an interpretation by a few men to protect what they’ve developed over the years. Father Coyne believes Jesus would be aghast at the Vatican as it is today. The men want to keep the power but resist service.

 

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Staying true to the teachings of Jesus is difficult because it takes a tremendous act of will to overcome our biology. Love is an act of conscious will. Father Coyne believes Christianity should be the “school of love.” We need to understand what love means and how our brains work within the context of love. However, because the church is not studying the “school of love” but instead is still inculcating fear, we’re very far away from understanding the power of love and how it is an act of free will.

 

Jesus used the Parables to teach critical thinking and engage ordinary people into thinking in a new way. Modern Catholic educators do not teach critical thinking; instead they focus on rituals and rites. Our future for peace is dependent on how we treat our children. When we engage in traumatic teachings (i.e. hell, sin, etc.) within an educational environment it can perpetuate war, fear, and violence. And where there is fear, there is no religion.

 

For more information about Father Coyne’s book, The Theology of Fear, please visit his website: http://emmettcoyne.net/.

 

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Convergence: A Mount Everest of an Idea

Segment 1: Dialogue Where There Is Division.

Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Aakif Ahmad, co-founder and Vice President of Convergence, a non-profit, non-partisan organization “dedicated to bringing dialogue where there is division, consensus where there is conflict and solutions where there is stalemate on issues of national consequence.” Through Convergence, Aakif helps Americans and Pakistanis work together as well as Democrats and Republicans work together. He’s found that there isn’t much space for our elected officials to cooperate because they are tied to lobbyists and it is difficult to identify where common ground is possible. However, there is a shift in how people see each other when they’re able to step back from the positions for which they’ve been advocating and identify the values from which those positions come. Personal narratives begin to be articulated and they discover places where they can work together to achieve common goals. It is a patient process, and Convergence has benefitted from supporters who want to be part of something geared toward problem-solving.

 

Segment 2: An Inclusive and Safe Space.

One of the goals that Convergence works towards is not only to identify a framework that feels inclusive and safe for the stakeholders, but also to attain a level of creative thinking. It is through creative thinking and open dialogue folks begin to conceive of ways to work together. Even major stakeholders working on opposite sides of issues can flourish in this environment.

 

There is no bias on the outside of the process. Convergence looks for a series of indicators that suggests that a particular issue and the stakeholders around that issue have reached a point where the fight is no longer leading to incremental gains. Research is a large part of the process. They do a tremendous amount of research to find “ripe” issues that might find success with a different approach.

 

Segment 3: The U.S. and Pakistan Relationship.

Convergence has organized a series of events in Pakistan and Washington D.C. where Pakistanis and Americans with leadership roles outside of government have a chance to meet and get to know each other as groups. They talk candidly about their relationship and their hopes, dreams, concerns and fears for their countries. It is at that moment when positions evaporate and common values arise. The groups realize they can work together and that it’s not just a conversation about fear; it’s a conversation about opportunity.

 

Segment 4: The Momentum Continues to Grow.

There is no “one size fits all” approach, and not every issue is ripe and ready to seek an alternative approach. It’s a sincere privilege for the folks at Convergence to assist stakeholders working toward a common vision. Convergence has been around for 3 years and the momentum continues to grow. Their hope is that they can help their current stakeholders achieve the breakthroughs they are striving towards, as well be in a position to extend their services to others through continued support and resources. To learn more about Convergence, please visit their website: http://www.convergencepolicy.org/.>

 

The listen to complete interview:

 

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War: The Systematic Erosion of Civil Liberties

Segment 1: The Center of Peace and Liberty

From Afghanistan and Pakistan to Iran and Israel, crises are flourishing today. On this edition of The Doug Noll show we will be talking about the world conflicts that exist today and our own country’s history with war and conflict. Our guest is Dr. Ivan Eland, Senior Fellow and Director of the Center on Peace and Liberty at the Independent Institute (www.independent.org). Ivan spent 15 years working for congress in various capacities before getting into the Think Tank world. The Center on Peace and Liberty studies war, civil liberties and freedom. Through research they have shown that much of the erosion of civil liberties and loss of freedom in the United States’ history has occurred because of war. When our country has a crisis and the government puts anti-liberties regulation in place, it’s very difficult to remove the legislation, even when we have a liberal president in office.

 

Segment 2: A Standard Pattern

The slogan “the best defense is a good offense” is fine for conventional warfare but for terrorism it’s just the opposite. A strong offense with terrorism usually just creates more terrorism. Getting Bin Laden was important because we decimated the al-Qaeda leadership, but Ivan thinks that we should’ve stopped there, instead of going into Somalia, Pakistan and the Arabian Peninsula. We’re making more enemies. There is a standard pattern with terrorists: once they hit their opponent, they hope that the opponent will overreact, which enables them to gain more funding and recruits.

 

Segment 3: The Most Aggressive Country on the Planet

In regards to Syria, whenever a country is in a civil war it’s very chaotic. We don’t have good intelligence in Syria about “who’s radical and who’s not” so if we send heavier weapons to Syria we risk having terrorists get their hands on them. There’s only been one war in U.S. history (the War of 1812) that has not had dire political repercussions. Obama has been cautious to get into war. Romney has pressure to ramp up the volume of weapon sales to the rebels. For most of our history we’ve run a restrained foreign policy, but it started eroding with the Spanish-American war, then we hit WWI and WWII and after WWII we are the king nation and the super power. We became the most aggressive country on the planet. We need to retreat from our overly-interventionist policy. This does not make us isolationists. Every problem in the world does not need to be solved by the U.S. We can’t afford it, financially or otherwise.

 

Segment 4: Imperial Overextension

The policy of intervention has held up thus far because the military industrial complex is alive and well. To cut back on military spending would put a lot of people out of work. So how do we change the course of this country? We need to reconfigure our military into a more defensive profile. Our economy is stagnant but our military budget is growing fast, which brings about imperial overextension.  We could save a lot of money if the defense department did what it was supposed to do and the constitution provided for the common defense instead of the common offense. We have been the most aggressive country in the world by far, and historically war is the central cause of big government.

 

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Spiritual Intelligence in the Workplace

Segment 1: Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Cindy Wigglesworth. After receiving a Master’s Degree from Duke University and spending over 20 years in Human Resources at Exxon Mobile, Cindy founded her current business, Deep Change, in 2000. She is the author of SQ21: The Twenty-One Skills of Spiritual Intelligence, and a recognized expert in the field of Spiritual Intelligence.

 

Cindy’s personal journey started when she spent a few years in India as a child. It was there that her interest in different cultures and ideas began. She was raised Roman Catholic but always had nagging questions like: we need to love one another but where is the practical advice about how to do that? How does this world make sense? How can we all get along? What is the purpose of life?

 

Cindy developed her Emotional Intelligence as an adult and then through personal research stumbled onto Spiritual Intelligence. She found that EQ and SQ were hugely important for strong leadership but no one had the ability to talk about these topics because they didn’t have the language. Emotional Intelligence as a body of literature was not available. She began by using Myers Briggs personality tests and observed how people could communicate clearly and get tasks accomplished but not be overly annoying. She began to imitate what she was seeing in order to become a more effective leader.

 

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Emotions are big part of how and why we make certain decisions. When Cindy teaches seminars on Spiritual Intelligence she asks her students: what spiritual leaders do you admire? What are the character traits that cause you to admire them? Then, once the traits are named, she asks if any of those character traits are not appropriate in the work place (no). Eventually her students learn that wisdom and compassion have to coexist for Spiritual Intelligence to be effective.

 

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The most important piece of language surrounding Spiritual Intelligence is the understanding that we have an ego self and a higher self. The ego is the normal operating system that typically runs our lives (with high drama and proneness to flight of flight), which is fine if our only objective is to stay alive. However, if we have other objectives like having a purpose or having joy in your life, the ego can get in the way. The higher self is the part of us that can calm the “drama queen” limbic system. With practice we can rewire the triggers that anger us. It takes discipline and practice, but it can change.

 

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So how do we learn a compassionate response instead of a fear response? The first step is to understand the voice of our ego and higher self, and get clear about our core values and belief systems. Then we need to be able to get ourselves “into the mind” of anyone, which is essentially being empathic. In doing so, we become profoundly aware of the interconnectivity of life. We are not solo players. When we do things there are repercussions. When we feel threatened, we contract and the ego-habituated path takes over, which doesn’t serve us. To override this response takes practice and motivation, but it is possible.

 

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Marianne Williamson: Conviction, Action and Service to America

Segment 1: The Larger Context of Peace and Love.

Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll show is internationally acclaimed author and spiritual leader Marianne Williamson. Marianne has published ten books, many of them New York Times Best Sellers, as well as been a guest on shows such as Good Morning American, Larry King Live, Charlie Rose and Oprah. She founded Project Angel Food in Los Angeles and the Department of Peace Campaign, a grass roots campaign to establish a United States Department of Peace. Her latest project, Sister Giant (http://sistergiant.com), was created to help foster a new conversation and consciousness in American politics. Its mission is to transform the political environment in America by engaging women in politics.

 

Marianne grew up in a generation where the idea of spiritual and philosophical pursuits was not separate from the idea of political pursuits. She saw her political pursuits within the larger context of peace and love. Marianne’s interest in the philosophical and spiritual ideas that were so pervasive in the 70’s remained a life-long calling for her. When she read A Course in Miracles a world opened up for her, although at that point in time there was no professional niche as there is now. In time her interest in philosophy and spirituality became what she “did” full time: writing books about miracles, shifts in consciousness and the personal spiritual journey.

 

Segment 2: A Cancer Underlying Other Cancers.

Marianne believes that the undue influence of money on our political system is like a cancer underlying other cancers. She speaks of two important points: the United States has a 23.1% child poverty rate and we have the highest incarceration rate in any nation in the world (and in history). We spend more on prisons than on education, and there is a direct correlation.

 

Our job is not to try to convince others of our beliefs but to speak with greater savvy and organizational skills to those who already see the world the way we do. Those who speak with a loving tongue are not speaking loud enough. Violence is the most primitive form of conflict resolution and as long as we rely on primitive forms and not rise to more sophisticated forms we will continue to have problems.

 

Segment 3: Sister Giant.

The purpose of the Sister Giant event (Nov 10-11, 2012) is to reconnect our own higher philosophical and spiritual visions with the idea of serious political issues. We need to see politics within the context of the larger yearning for the evolution of the species. Marianne will be moderating and hosting the event, and guest speakers will focus on child poverty, incarceration and the Citizens United issue.

 

Segment 4: A Purpose Greater Than Ourselves.

Marianne believes that enlightenment is the path of the heart. The violence of the heart is behind all human suffering. Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. When the heart is open, a miraculous power flows through us and makes the universe self-organizing and self-correcting. When we are willing to heal ourselves we become used for a purpose greater than ourselves. If we learn to use that power collectively, there is no end to what we can accomplish.

 

To listen to the complete interview:

 

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The Path to Peace: Understanding Human Nature

Segment 1: The Three Myths that Perpetuate War.

Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Paul Chappell. Paul graduated from West Point in 2002 and served in the army for 7 years before leaving active duty in 2009 as a Captain. He is the author of a number of books and currently serves as the Peace Leadership Director for the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, speaking throughout the country to colleges, high schools, veterans groups, churches and activist organizations.

 

Paul believes there are three myths that perpetuate war: first, human beings are naturally violent. Second, war is inevitable, and third, war makes us safe. Regarding the first myth, we are not born killers and do not have an innate desire to kill people, although there are all sorts of factors that cause people to become violent. Violence is taught by life experience and by our environment.

 

Segment 2: To Conquer or Be Conquered.

The second myth is that war is inevitable. This is a dangerous myth because as a country you only have two options: to be the conqueror or the conquered. In the U.S. we are considered to be culturally evolved and civilized, but if you look at countries like Afghanistan or Africa, they still see the world in terms of a power struggle. However, it is possible to renounce the use of war in one generation (i.e. Japan or Germany) especially if it is believed that it is their own best interest not to be waging war.

 

Segment 3: Peaceful Revolution.

The third myth is that war makes us safe. A lot of people believe that war is necessary to protect us from invasion, which is a philosophy based on fear. Paul believes virtually everyone wants peace, but they disagree on the means of achieving peace.

 

Trying to end war without understanding human nature is like trying to go to the moon without understanding the law of physics, so in Paul’s latest book, Peaceful Revolution, he sets out to research human nature within the context of war. Once we understand human nature we can pave a new path and look at alternatives to help us live in harmony. Paul looks at a large sample size (every war in human history) and finds that in every war the two sides dehumanize each other. He also discovers that in every war the propaganda says that people are fighting for something noble like protection of freedom (never for greed or money). These are universal truths in every culture and every time period and he uses them to make assertions about human nature and our powerful instincts.

 

Segment 4: The Mysteries of Human Nature.

So how do we go about teaching people about the positive values in human nature? Paul explores topics like empathy, hope, appreciation, discipline, curiosity and takes them out of the moral context and puts them into the context of human survival and human happiness. These attributes are vital for human survival and lead to more fulfilling and meaningful lives. Our commonalities transcend our differences. This is the path to peace.

 

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The Surprising Role of Strategic Narrative in U.S. Foreign Policy

Segment 1: We Live in a World of Stories.

Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Dr. Amy Zalman (http://strategic-narrative.net/). Amy has worked to develop more culturally astute approaches to national security for over a decade. She is an expert on the strategic role of language and narratives in international affairs and violent conflict, and an authority on how the U.S. can better understand end engage foreign publics.

 

Amy has always had three enduring interests: language, political violence, and learning about foreign places. She finds that poetry and storytelling speaks to metaphor which in turn speaks to a different part of our brain. This enables people to look at problems – and solutions – in creative ways, which is crucial in the political and security arena. It is important to understand that we live inside this flow in order to work with others and have a positive influence.

 

Segment 2: The Myth of Redemptive Violence.

There is a myth in society that violence redeems evil and brings chaos under control. This is the “myth of redemptive violence” and it permeates every cartoon and every dramatic movie in society today. This plays out in our political affairs and in our culture. People respond to conflict that results in violence rather than stepping back and asking questions, learning skills, engaging in dialogue and thinking about possible implications. As a culture, we think violence is the answer to all of our problems. Yet, when we engage in violence we find that we spend enormous amounts of time and money trying to control events with power and force when we actually have no control at all. This “myth of redemptive violence” is one of the reasons that peace is so hard to achieve.

 

Segment 3: The Struggle to Reframe our Thinking.

Amy says there is a debate in Washington right now about whether the U.S. is in decline and how it should project itself within the world. We are in the middle of a battle to decide what kind of country we need to be in the world: one of community or one that continues to use force. Amy speaks with high-level personnel in the defense department and helps them reframe their thinking and their national stories. She often asks them, “Why would another country want YOUR story? They have their OWN national story.”

 

Segment 4: The Three Ways to Increase Power.

Strategic narrative within conflict resolution requires treading carefully around the parties and respecting their missions. There are three ways to be powerful enough to get people to do what you want them to do: you can coerce them, you can induce them with carrots on sticks, or you can attract/seduce them. You can get them to want what you want because you are so attractive. Amy encourages the military personnel to think about their own culture and who they are. This evokes some of the skills that they have with their own identity, which in turn helps them become more effective at peacemaking.

 

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Eastern Europe: Their Pride, Their Struggle, Their Success

Segment 1: Hiking the Balkans.

In this edition of The Doug Noll Show we speak with Francis Tapon (http://francistapon.com/), who has traveled to over 75 countries. Francis has hiked the Appalachian Trail and the Pacific Crest Trail and in 2007 became the first person to do a round trip hike on the Continental Divide Trail. In this hour we will be discussing his travels in Eastern and Southeastern Europe, specifically throughout the Balkans. Francis found the Balkans fascinating and perplexing. He had very little understanding of the area until he visited, and discovered it was not as dangerous as one might think.

 

Segment 2: Religion is a Flag to Rally Behind.

Francis visited every single country in Eastern Europe. He spent the majority of his time in Slovenia and Croatia, the most modern and developed of all ex-Yugoslav countries. There are basically three ethnic groups in Bosnia: Serbs (who tend to be orthodox), Croatians (who tend to be Catholic) and Bosnians (who tend to be Muslim). We have a propensity to inextricably link them to these religions, but in reality, none of them are so serious about religion. They use their religion as a flag to rally behind rather than some deep, meaningful guiding purpose. The issues in the Balkans surround ethnicity, not religion.

 

Francis found warm welcomes in Serbia, Kosovo and Albania, which was a surprise. These areas are struggling with high unemployment and corruption, and their politics are a mess. There are three fractions, no one has control, and the EU has absolute veto power over all the Balkans. The Serbs who live in Bosnia don’t WANT to be part of Bosnia; they want to be part of Serbia. There are still strong nationalistic tendencies throughout the regions. The good news is that they are solving their disputes in the political or court arena instead of picking up a gun.

 

Segment 3: Albania and the Balkans: Still the Loose Cannons.

So what are prospects for continued peace in Eastern Europe? Francis thinks that there is an advantage to having an aging population in Eastern Europe (ie in Russia) because the older generation is not as quick to go to war. The depopulation is mainly due to an increased death rate (alcoholism and poor health habits), emigration (to the West) and decreased birth rate (people are choosing to have fewer children).There is also a Westward migration to join the EU. Although Francis believes tensions are lower than they have been in the last 100 years, the big risk in the region is still Albania and the Balkans.

 

Segment 4: Admittance to the EU?

In regards to the prospect of the Balkan countries gaining admittance into the EU, Croatia is joining in July of 2013 and Serbia has applied as well. Francis thinks the solution is for all of them to join the EU as one, despite the fact that they are all economically behind the other EU countries. In that way the playing field would be even.

 

To listen to the complete interview:

 

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Foreign Policy and Espionage

Segment 1: “We’re going to war.”

Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is no stranger to war and espionage. Art Keller is a former CIA officer who served in the Counter-Proliferation Division, a unit responsible for spying on and sabotaging Weapons of Mass Destruction programs. He also has worked on terrorism cases and his last assignment was as acting Chief of Base in the tribal areas of Pakistan.

 

Art’s personal journey began after high school, when he joined the army and then studied foreign affairs in college. His interest in foreign affairs led him to apply to the CIA and after an arduous selection process (he applied multiple times, and later found out that was the norm) he was accepted into the CIA organization. He wound up in the Counter-Proliferation Division with instructions to keep an eye on weapons of mass destruction. It was Art’s job to cover Iran’s missile program, and he does not believe that Saddam Hussein ever had weapons of mass destruction (WMD). However, his Chief of Station returned from headquarters and announced that “the decision had already been made: we’re going to war.” It was shocking.

 

Segment 2: A Corrupted Process.

In order to make the best policies, the policy makers need to know what’s really happening in a particular area. If we shape our intelligence around our policy objective (instead of the other way around) the process will be corrupted. Art spent a few months in 2003 and 2004 near Baghdad in 140 degree weather looking for weapons in the desert. By August 2003 it was clear to him that he was just going through the motions, but he had his marching orders and dutifully followed them out. He became certain there were no WMDs to be found. No one came forward with any viable information.

 

Segment 3: The Slow and Meticulous Dance.

The negotiations have resumed with Iran and the West over Iran’s nuclear ambitions. Historically, peacemaking arms control has been a very slow and meticulous dance. There is a lot of distrust. From the viewpoint of the U.S., Iran hasn’t wanted to negotiate in good faith. Art says Iranians think very differently from us, but they do think. They have a very keenly developed sense of their own self-interest, which does not include having their whole country destroyed. A lot of it has to do with national pride. For example, they can’t believe Pakistan has a nuclear weapon and they don’t.

 

Art is greatly concerned about Israel and how they take actions without considering American interest. They have a proven record of bombing other people’s nuclear facilities (Iraq and Syria) as well as assassinating weapon scientists. It is an established pattern.

 

Segment 4: It’s Not About the Gadgets.

The CIA’s definition of assassination is killing someone - usually for political reasons - from a country with whom you are not at war. Art’s book, Hollow Strength, is about assassinations, secrets and espionage. It’s technically fiction but is based on his real life experiences. Human Intelligence is not about gadgets; it’s about relationships with people. Ask yourself this question: How bad would it have to be in your own country for you to be a spy for another country?  

 

To listen to the complete interview:

 

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Finding Peace through Multicultural Relationships

Segment 1: The Globalization of Love.

On this edition of The Doug Noll Show we speak with Wendy Williams, author of The Globalisation of Love, a book about multicultural romance and marriage. Wendy has lived in 6 different countries and has worked internationally for 18 years. She is Canadian, married to an Austrian, and lives in Vienna, Austria with their daughter. Wendy’s book is based on dozens of interviews with multicultural couples from around the world and includes chapters on multicultural weddings, religion, race, food, language and children.

 

Segment 2: The Increase in Multicultural Relationships.

Wendy was born into a multicultural environment and grew up in a multicultural family. At an early age she recognized cultural differences. She says there is no specific “formula” for what makes a multicultural relationship work. It’s all about the individuals involved. Her advice for young people getting into multicultural relationships is to start asking questions very early in the relationship and become educated about your partner’s culture and his or her reactions to certain situations. That way, instead of assuming your partner is stubborn and big-headed, you realize they are just acting according to the cultural norm for the society from which they come. Sit together and ask questions. Listen. Don’t make assumptions.

 

So why are there so many multicultural relationships these days? Wendy believes the increase is due to having more opportunities to meet. People are traveling more for business and pleasure. The internet is also a big factor, as technology has enabled people to stay in contact cheaply and conveniently. With ongoing globalization, society is becoming much more accepting of multi-cultural relationships.

 

Segment 3: Meeting the Parents.

Imagine meeting the parents for the first time: you are jet-lagged from flying to a new country, you don’t speak the language, there’s the issue of accommodations, and you go from being complete strangers to sharing a bathroom together very quickly. Often the native family wants to impress the incoming person and goes overboard with local activities and celebrations, which just adds to the pressure. Family relationships can be quite intense, and you can imagine the conflict that can arise when a family is not educated about other cultures and lifestyles.

 

Segment 4: The Path to Peace.

Multicultural children usually go through a period of questioning, “Who am I? What am I? Where do I belong in the world?” Wendy has found that they usually gravitate toward one parent or the other, which can be difficult. On the other hand, these children grow up knowing a world of differences which enables them to be very open and accepting of different people and ways of doing things. The globalization of love is the path to peace. Multicultural families prove every day that their families are “ambassadors for world peace.” They promote acceptance and tolerance. The modern multicultural relationship is defined by the individuals within it, not by society.

 

To listen to the complete interview: 

 

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Book Review for Elusive Peace: How Modern Diplomatic Strategies Could Better Resolve World Conflicts

http://www.elusivepeace.com

Foreign Policies, Examined and Illuminated

Segment 1: The Complexities of Foreign Policies.

Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Kathleen Brush, an author, senior executive and global business consultant. Kathleen’s articles have been published by CNBC, Fox Business, The Washington Post, Financial Times China, Business Week and Entrepreneur. Her book, The World Made Easy, is designed to help us understand the complexities of foreign policies throughout the world.

 

Kathleen studied the regions of the world (194 countries) and evaluated their different political systems, economic systems, social cultural systems and significant events in history. Her goal was to simplify the systems to achieve easier understanding as well as answer questions like, “Why are there uprisings in the middle east and North Africa?” and “Why do people do things differently in China?” for example. Kathleen believes if a country is running fine with their current systems and their people are not revolting, the U.S. shouldn’t get involved. However, there are many brutal regimes in the world. There are still labor camps and places where people get shot for opposing the government. The solution is continuing to foster education so that people can self-determine what type of government is best for their own country.

 

Segment 2: Africa Divided.

The division of Africa in the late 1890s has caused more misery and conflict on that continent than we can even imagine. The map was formed without any consideration or concern for ethno-linguistic groups. It’s a source of a great number of tribal conflicts to this day. The continent has been deprived of effective leadership as well. Again, education is one of the keys.

 

Segment 3: Afghanistan’s Struggle Continues.

The Afghani people have been fighting for centuries. Kathleen believes they might not even WANT to live in peace. Fighting is what they do well. This is a country with many tribal groups and that has been geopolitically strategic for the last 1,000 years. A destabilized Afghanistan is of political interest to the Pakistani military, and China is now investing millions of dollars into Afghanistan to extract the mineral resources. The unemployment rate is 75%. Add to that the geopolitical problems (it has one of the most corrupt governments on the planet), an extremely high literacy rate and one of the lowest per capita incomes in the world and it is clear they need a lot of help (i.e. economic development and education) to be able to move forward.

 

Segment 4: Held to a Higher Standard.

Throughout history, when women became educated and established themselves professionally, they were able to make a bigger impact. However, even in the U.S. we still have challenges with equality. Kathleen found when she conducted business internationally she was seen as an AMERICAN first and a WOMAN second, which made it easier for her to work in foreign countries. Because the U.S. is #1 economically and militarily, we are held to a higher standard and need to step up to the plate.

 

To listen to the entire interview: 

 

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Mediator Teaches Couples How to Listen on TV Segment

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Universal Human Rights: A Call to Action

Segment 1: Human Rights Education.

Here in the U.S. we generally take many of our basic rights for granted. In many countries, however, tyranny, power, greed and corruption act to deny basic human rights. Even in countries where human rights are respected, the average citizen has little knowledge of what those rights are. Schools do not teach human rights concepts and students who are ignorant of their basic rights do not step up to assert them. Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Dr. Mary Shuttleworth, founder and president of Youth for Human Rights International. Dr. Suttleworth will discuss her amazing organization as well as her passion for human rights education around the globe.

 

Dr. Shuttleworth was born and raised in apartheid South Africa, and even as a young child was intensely aware of the devastating effects of discrimination. As an adult she found that discrimination is not only a South African issue, but a global issue that needs to be addressed at an international level. The mission of Youth for Human Rights International (YFHRI) is to teach youth about human rights and inspire them to become advocates for tolerance and peace. The education is based around the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which was signed into being in 1948 after the abuses of WWII.

 

Segment 2: Human Rights, Tolerance and Peace.

There is a direct relationship between human rights, tolerance and peace. When we teach human rights, we are also teaching responsibility. We need to ask ourselves, “What is MY responsibility?” We all want basic human rights for ourselves, but the trick is to want them for others. Discrimination is not born in the heart of a child. It stems from learned lessons - not always overt - from culture, genetics, and environment.

 

Segment 3: Radical Reevaluation Needed.

Youth for Human Rights International works with youth of all ages. They can teach the concept of human rights to kids at a very young age (i.e. sharing, working together, etc.). It is essential that we teach human rights in our schools. We have “zero tolerance policies” in schools but we need a radical reevaluation of the use of power and coercion to control our own fears and anxieties about our environment. Parents need to spend more time with their kids to development good communication skills and deep empathic connections.

 

Segment 4: A Global Concept.

YFHRI does not have a problem keeping their teachings culturally appropriate as they travel from culture to culture. Basic human rights is a global concept. The declaration is a universal document and the material they use to teach human rights applies to all cultures. It’s imperative that the youth understand the concept that these human rights belong to EVERYONE. In order to make this happen, it takes money, support and volunteers. To get involved or find out more about the Dr. Shuttleworth’s organization, go to www.youthforhumanrights.org.

 

To listen to the compete interview:

 

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